Your biggest ally or enemy is your mind
In that process, unknowingly for most us (especially those who are living alone), we have to face our greatest fear and that is yourself.
This mind that speaks to US, does so with so many different ways and in stories, suddenly the US comes right in the middle of this dialogue.
Our internal dialogue is now going back and forth associating and dissociating with those /these thoughts.
This very same mind, that has been our best friend for so many years, suddenly decides to play games with us.
Games which we didn't ever prepare for, mind games.
This is why, most find it difficult to sit with themselves and meditate beyond what they are normally used to. This is also why, practises such as Vipassana meditation which requires one to meditate for 10 hours and 10 days continuous with strict rules enforced during this time, becomes such an ominous task.
This reminds me of the Zen buddhist story :-
“ where every 100 years a room of 1000 demons was opened to monks to walk across. If they cross successfully, they become enlightened. However, since this is a room of 1000 demons, it means ones greatest fears will come up when they try to cross the path from one end of the building and exit to the other side of the building, most don’t because they have not learnt to face their demons. With this fear, most buddhists decide to not even try despite all their wilted efforts to be enlightened. When asked to do the impossible, most decide to not to ”
Actually their greatest fears is what we need to actually conquer, a projection of our and one's OWN IMAGINATION.
Whatever you think is going on, keep your feet moving and to know this and that, at the end of this journey, we will find what we are looking for. That is the power of faith and trust in ourselves.
Stay in that game and once there, our true mastery will start.
Because once you master that which is YOU,
you will realize nothing else in life will deter YOU.